Ugh you got to be kidding me

I went to get a mani/pedi today which is usually a source of happiness for me. I sat down in the big massaging arm chair and put my feet in the warm, unnaturally blue water. The manicurist reached up and turned on the massager then proceeded to work on my feet. I didn't have a book with me and reading the 4 month old copy of US with the headline about teen mom Maci's custody battle was not an option for me. So I picked up my phone to play a game when I noticed a jelly-like jiggle coming from under my shirt. I was...dismayed? disappointed? disgusted. I reached for the massager remote control and pressed every button but apparently there was no kill switch on this particular model. I had to endure the 20 minutes of involuntary truffle shuffle while my feet were thoroughly scrubbed, moisturized and painted. Grand. The worst part is that I really liked the place and now I don't think I can go back sans Spanx.